WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

PLANET OF ORIGIN:

SPECIES: Ampuquad Andorian Android Bantha Bajani Bajoran Bee Benzite Betazoid Binar Bok Choi Bolian Bothan Breen Calamari Cardassian Cat Celestian Centauri Chipmunk Chiss Chocolate CIRCA OP CIRCA SODA Shoppe Staff CIRCA STAFF Cow Cylon Daggit Dark Jedi Dilgar Dinosaur (Generic) Dog Dominion Drakh Drazi Droid El Aurian Elephant Evil Ewok Ex-Lax Faery First One Ferengi Good Gungan HAL 9000 Computer Horse Hornet Human Jawa Jedi Knight Klingon Krennam Lemming Lumati Maalox Mangalore Martian Maylon Mon Calamari Mondoshawan MONOLITH Minbari Muffin Mylar Nanite Narn Naboo Neanderthal Ocampa Owl Predator Q Ranger Romulan Scorpion Shadow Sheliak Smurf SPECIES 116 SPECIES 125 SPECIES 149 SPECIES 180 - Ferengi SPECIES 218 - Talaxians SPECIES 259 SPECIES 262 SPECIES 263 SPECIES 312 SPECIES 329 - Kazon SPECIES 521 SPECIES 571 SPECIES 689 - Norcadians SPECIES 3259 - Vulcans SPECIES 4228 - Hazari SPECIES 5174 SPECIES 5618 - Humanity SPECIES 5973 SPECIES 6291 - Yridians SPECIES 6339 SPECIES 6961 - Ktarians SPECIES 8472 SPECIES 10026 Spider Squirrel Snork Stormtrooper Strawberry Talaxian Tholian Tribble Trill Troll Vanilla Vegan Velociraptor Vorlon Vulcan Wookie Walrus Whale Xenomorph Z Zaal Zathras Zebra OTHER UNKNOWN BORG

CITY/STATE/COUNTRY?

YOUR WEBPAGE URL (if any):

1. HOW MANY BORGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

   NONE 1,771,561 ONE ALL OF US LIGHTING IS IRRELEVANT POTATO

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2. IF A FEDERATION STARSHIP IS FOLLOWING YOU AT WARP 9.3, AND YOUR BORG VESSEL CAN ONLY GO WARP 8.7 BECAUSE THE COLLECTIVE IS USING ALL THE CPU TIME PLAYING 'FINAL FANTASY 8', WHAT DO YOU DO?

   Ignore it, it'll go away. Stop immediately and pound the stuffing out of the starship. Open a Transwarp Conduit. Open a temporal rift, go back in time 15 minutes and assimilate the starship. SPEED IS IRRELEVANT. PRESS CTRL-ALT-DEL.

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3. AN OBVIOUSLY IRRITATED KLINGON APPROACHES YOU CARRYING A PHASER AND TELLS YOU TO "ASSIMILATE THIS!" WHAT DO YOU DO?

   ASSIMILATE HIM.
   ADAPT TO HIS PHASER FREQUENCY, THEN ASSIMILATE HIM.

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4. YOU ENCOUNTER AN ALIEN VESSEL. THEY COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU ENTERING THEIR SPACE. WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE?

   SPACE IS IRRELEVANT. WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND SURRENDER YOUR SHIP. Hi! Would you happen to know the shortest way to Earth? YOU WILL SURRENDER OR WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIP. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. "I am Homer of Borg. You will be assimi...Ooo! Donuts!" "Does this outfit make us look fat?" "11001001" "Z-z-z-z-z..."

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5. WILL THE FEDERATION BE ASSIMILATED?

   Never!
   Maybe?
   Yes!!
   Yes, and we'll get the Klingons too!

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6. WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE A GOOD DRONE FOR THE BORG QUEEN?

   Anakin Skywalker
   Harry Potter
   Frodo the Hobbit
   I can't decide!

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7. IN 4000 WORDS OR LESS, TELL US WHY YOU WANT TO BE ASSIMILATED: