And now...a word from our sponsor:

Tired of the old, dried out offerings Mom leaves for you on the stove?

Then boogie on down to:

MADAME FONG'S DUMPLING HUT & CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY CLINIC

Bring the whole family down for some righteous down-home nummies from the people who brought you "The Banana-TOFU Fruit Smoothie!"

And while you're here, try some of "Grandma Fong's Cashew-Fig-Dough Surprise"! What's the surprise you ask? We ran out of cashews 2 weeks ago! 8)

Plus...If you're addicted to LSD, PCP, or AOL Instant Messenger...your kids eat for FREE!
* - See note at bottom of ad.

CALLING ALL HOMEMAKERS: Yes, we sell cooking lard!

Hey kids! If you mention that you saw this ad, one of our "Happy Hosts" will introduce you to "Shakes: The Magic Rhesus Monkey"

For not only will he perform some of his more famous magic tricks...but he'll go over with you step-by-step his patented 3 week plan for beating Cocaine/Nicotine dependence!

What do you have to lose, but the munchies?!

So remember...that's:

MADAME FONG'S DUMPLING HUT & CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY CLINIC

Stop by our new location on Exit 105...just North of Meckling.
Look for the giant revolving Rhesus Monkey holding the
"Golden Jumper Cables of Trafalgamar!".

* - Add a $2.00 fee if addicted to household cleansers