Are you tired of commercials like this:
Well, we checked the ingredients in Wrigley's Spearmint Gum, and there wasn't a drop of nicotine in it! Surprised?! You shouldn't be.
We at MADAME FONG'S INTERNATIONAL TOBACCO CO. have come up with the PERFECT solution to all your nicotine needs! It's the new:
Just place this Nicotine-Transdermal patch under your tongue and you're good for the WHOLE day. Just listen to these unsolicited testamonials!
Where could you go wrong?! So pick up your FONG PATCH today for the low low price of:
"Don't suffer from the shakes again!"
PLUS...coming soon! A miracle breakthrough in Transdermal technology!
Just place the FONGTACTS directly over your corneas, and let the magic of transdermal technology work its wonder. We guarantee you'll be free of that old slavemaster we affectionately call nicotine, or your money back!
Here are a few more testamonials from some of our guinea pi... uh, test subjects.
So order your pair of FONGTACTS today!
Just send $349.95 per pair to:
c/o MADAME FONG ENTERPRISES
1122 Boogy Boogy Avenue
Raleigh, North Carolina 90210
"Let Madame Fong help you get that cancer-laden monkey off your back!
(This was paid announcement by MADAME FONG'S INTERNATIONAL TOBACCO COMPANY)