"You WILL buy some SPAM! OH YES... you WILL buy some SPAM!"

And now...a word from our sponsor:

Are you tired, lazy, too poor to cook?!

Then shuffle your little tootsies to the place that has EVERYBODY talkin!

MADAME FONG'S DELUXE SPAM-O-RAMA & FENDER REPAIR
(Formerly Madame Fong's House-O-Piggy-Parts)

Bring your whole family down to our air conditioned restaurant for the latest in dining excellence. Feast on over 2000 varieties of chopped pork shoulder slathered in gooey pork paste. And when you're done, have your car detailed at a fraction of the cost!

Just look at all the wholesome goodness that awaits you!

LUNCHTIME SPECIAL BREAKFAST MEAL-COMBO DINNER FIESTA
Sauteed bits of pork shoulder, marinated in 40 weight motor oil and slow cooked over a roaring flame for 6 hours! Ask about our Senior Citizen Plate! A piping-hot SPAM Croissant served with a side order of SPAM-Wedges, and a frosty mug of Grandma Fong's old-fashioned SPAM-Smoothie. Wash & Wax not included. Two all SPAM patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a month-old bagel.
All menu items are conveniently priced for your poverty stricken pleasure!

(And for you Astronomy Majors out there...YES, we accept Food Stamps!)

Hey kids! We have a certified medical technician & a merry-go-round
on the premises between Noon & 2:00, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, during
months that end in L.

And y'all be sure to try our nutritious dessert yummies,

1. SPAM Fudge!
2. SPAM Muffins!
3. Dried SPAM Bits, in caramel!
4. Boston Kreme Donuts (with pork filling)
5. And of course...SPAM-cicles!

"CALLING ALL HOMEMAKERS! Yes, we sell cooking lard!!!! 89 cents a quart!"
(sold in gallon tubs only)

So what are you waiting for? Drag your sorry butt to Madame Fong's for
some GOOD eatin'! We're located 2 miles north of the Hunky Dory Mall
in the new Paraffin Shopping Plaza. Just look for the giant neon pig
holding the BLUE "Out of Order" sign.

(This ad was paid for by MADAME FONG ENTERPRISES. Any references to SPAM(tm) are not to infer any alliance with the Hormel Corporation of America.)

"Gosh-Gumm-It, I Love America!" 8)