Definitions of seldom-used words courtesy of http://www.webster.com
Soundfiles downloaded from http://www.the-earchives.com/
Last updated: February 11, 2005

Stewart Gilligan Griffin is one of my favorite cartoon characters, mostly for his pedantic way of saying things.
I want to be just like him when I grow up.

This page is dedicated to my pal Layne Norton, literally the biggest Stewie fan I know!

File information
What Stewie says...

famguy02.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 17K

"How dare you!"

famguy04.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 23K

"I've defiled myself! I need to be cleaned!"

famguy05.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 14K

"Bloody hell! I'm a woman!"

famguy09.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 43K

"How positively delightful! Its as if someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!"

famguy11.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 47K

"Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since I escaped from your wretched womb!"

famguy12.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 44K

"Mark my words! When you least expect it, your uppance will come!"

famguy17.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 8.8K

"Victory is mine!"

famguy18.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 42K

"And now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!"

famguy19.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 30K

"Oh blast you and your estrogenical treachery!"

famguy20.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 15K

"You have the power to end this!"

famguy21.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 12K

"Why don't you burn in Hell!"

famguy23.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 57K

"I offer you one last chance for deliverance. Return my mind control device, or be destroyed."

famguy24.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 136K

"Don't toy with me, Ernie! I've already dispatched with Mr. Hooper. I've got 6 armed men stationed outside Big Bird's nest, and as for Linda... well, it's rather difficult for a deaf woman to hear an assassin approach, now isn't it?"

famguy25.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 22K

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

famguy26.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 12K

"Stop mocking me!"

famguy27.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 35K

"It appears the witless provider has finally brought me something of value!"

famguy28.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 29K

"Victory shall yet be mine!"

famguy32.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 89K

"Oh rest assured, you relentless harridan, I expect I shall finish them ALL off... and you as well!"

famguy33.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 11K

"Release me at once!"

famguy34.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 17K

"Time to be bad!"

famguy35.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 38K

"I say! Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces?!"

famguy36.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 12K

"What the devil are you talking about?"

famguy38.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 62K

"The only way you'll get me talk is through slow painful torture, and I don't think you've got the grapes!"

famguy40.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 21K

"Peek-a-boo! I see you!"

famguy41.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 55K

"Oh I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that! I'm afraid all we have left is untimely death!"

famguy42.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 25K

"Blast you woman! Awake from your damnable reverie!"

famguy43.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 63K

"Oh well, a thousand pardons for disrupting your flatware sanitation ritual, but you see I'm in searing pain!!"

famguy44.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 19K

"I order you to kill me at once!"

famguy45.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 28K

"Oh dammit to the bowels of bloody Hell!"

famguy47.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 57K

"Oh enough! The only thing worse than the wretched pain in my mouth is the excrement spewing from yours!"

famguy48.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 29K

"Ah... put me down, you brobdignagian blunderbuss!"

famguy49.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 58K

"Aggh... good God man! One can only imagine what foul regions that finger has erstwhile probed!"

famguy50.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 25K

"You are spectacular!"

famguy51.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 17K

"Silence, you contemptible shrew!"

famguy52.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 67K

"I'll not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans. You shall rue this day! Well go on. Start ruing!"

famguy53.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 11K

"How dare you!"

famguy54.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 37K

"Thank you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless."

famguy55.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 64K

"If you will not share your technological schemata with me peaceably, I shall take the information from you by force!"

famguy56.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 19K

"Oh blasted matriarch!"

famguy57.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 38K

"Evidentally madame, you and I differ greatly in our conception of beauty!"

famguy58.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 29K

"What I just witnessed was ghastlier than a thousand ghouls!"

famguy59.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 49K

"That is a vile and odious lie! How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda!"

famguy60.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 14K

"Get out you horrid woman! GET OUT!"

famguy62.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 29K

"Is that the best you can come up with, you dull-witted termagant!"

famguy63.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 34K

"Oh very funny! Now tell the one that doesn't suck!"

famguy64.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 52K

"I'm on to you. Oh yes! Your pathetic attempts to hinder my work have not gone unnoticed!"

famguy65.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 16K

"Dirty, dirty girl!"

famguy66.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 75K

"I say! Am I to strut about all day like some beggar child on the streets of Calcutta? Fetch me something linen to throw on before I call Child Services!"

famguy67.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 30K

"I love God! He's so deliciously evil!"

famguy69.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 50K

"I wouldn't bother visiting 'The Neighborhood of Make-Believe' today, Mister Rogers. I dare say you'll find it quite in ruin."

famguy70.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 32K "How dare you sully my good name by spreading your slanderous filth?!"
famguy71.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 32K  "The outrages I have suffered today will not be soon forgotten!"
famguy72.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 37K "Wonderful! And while we're at it we can light up a 'doobie' and watch 'porn'!"
famguy74.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 26K "Good news! I've decided not to kill you!" 
famguy75.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 16K "Oh, that's better than sex!" 
famguy76.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 15K "For God's sakes, feed me!" 
famguy78.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 21K "I'm going to kill you!" 
famguy82.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 43K "Oh, look where my hand is. It's in a very naughty place." 
famguy83.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 39K "I have misbehaved! I'm a bawdy little monkey!" 
famguy84.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 43K "Yes, I miss my Mommy.  Yes, yes and also miss cholic and rectal thermometry."
famguy85.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 15K "Does this not disgust you?!" 
famguy88.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 38K "This is my rifle, this is my gun! This is for fighting, this is for fun!" 
famguy89.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 22K "Dammit to pus-spewing, blood-gutted Hell!" 
famguy90.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 14K "We have to get the hell out of here!" 
famguy91.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 29K "Oh God... you're not coming out of the closet are you? AUGH!" 
famguy92.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 64K "Why you soul-less witch! This is a biogenetic experimentation facility isn't it?! Admit it!" 
famguy93.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 22K "Oooo! Aren't you the one in charge!" 
famguy94.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 53K "Unhand me woman! I don't have gas! I'm in love! *burp* Well then, I guess it's both." 
famguy96.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 97K "Attention world leaders!  I have 137 nuclear warheads trained on every capital city around the globe. The world is now under my control."
famguy97.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 48K "Wake up, Leona! This decrepit Hooverville is infested with something besides idiots!" 
famguy98.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 66K "My God, it's finally happened! He's become so massive he's collapsed into himself like a neutron star!" 
famguy104.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 60K "This is treason! Oh for God's sake, make an example of her! Nothing says 'Obey me' like a bloody head on a fence post."
famguy114.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 28K "Alright, that's it! For the next 5 hours you're my bitch!" 
famguy122.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 54K "Why you tottering, fen-sucked, dewberry! I'm going to go find something to strike you with! Excuse me." 
famguy123.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 11K "Back off, fat man!" 
famguy124.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 32K "How dare you condescend to me? I demand justice!!!"
famguy125.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 30K "Oh my! How ruthlessly absurd!" 
famguy127.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 47K "No! No, no! You come back here this instant you fat bastard and do her!" 
famguy128.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 34K "She needs to get laid, big time!" 
famguy129.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 13K "You suck!" 
famguy130.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 47K "I am going to kick... your... ass." 
famguy131.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 49K "Oh my God!  Oh! That's the most disgusting thing I've heard in my life!"
famguy132.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 31K "Heavens! It appears that my wee-wee has been stricken with rigor mortis."
famguy134.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 38K "Oh! God, I pray this is not my first memory!"  
famguy137.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:32 64K "Trust me, woman. If I could walk on water I would stoll you out into the middle of a lake and hold your head under until the bubbles stopped!"
famguy141.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 31K "Oh, splendid! This calls for a sexy party!"
famguy142.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 28K "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch." 
famguy143.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 46K "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." 
famguy144.wav 16-Mar-2004 19:33 26K "Why you sick, sick little moo cow!" 

Last updated: Friday, February 11, 2005