Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone Should Major in Quantum Dairy Farming At UF


10.  Cows and Electrons are relativistically the same.

 9.  The "ability to produce milk" is almost like "charge".

 8.  Ever see a cow in a cyclotron?

 7.  Enrico "Muffet-Boy" Fermi often ate curds and whey, while lounging on his 
	Craftmatic Adjustable Tuffet.

 6.  Proper "Brownian Motion" is the key to GOOD chocolate milk.

 5.  The elementary charge of a cow is THREE.  Ha!  No cumbersome exponential
	notation is needed here!

 4.  When a positively charged cow collides with a negatively charged cow,
	(SEE #8)...*WHAM*...YOGURT!  (The cute little blueberries at the bottom
	are considered impurities and should be ignored when compiling any
	empirical data).

 3.  If you split a cow, you get hamburger...well roughly.

 2.  The Pauli Exclusion Principle doesn't apply to bovine.  "Hmmm...Bossy
	and Lulu don't have antisymmetric wave functions!  How odd."

 1.  Cows have relativistically slow drift velocities.  This is, unless you
	shoot them out of an Electron Cow Cannon.


   BOARD #12:  "If it's Borden...it's got to be electrostatically neutral!"


(October 22, 1990 - 11:37 am)
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