Top Ten Format Changes The Weather Channel Could Employ To Improve Ratings


10.  Replace "The Michelin Driver's Report" with "The Rameses Trashy
	 Motel Update".
 9.  Jeanetta Jones must wear a black teddy during Prime-Time.
 8.  Name Pacific Hurricanes after X-Men characters.
 7.  Replace tedious U.S. Satellite loop with the new AfterDark screen saver.
 6.  Every 5 minutes, show clips from the previous week's episode of "BayWatch"
 5.  Replace "5 Day Business Planner" with "Short Attention Span Theater".
 4.  Less "Patrick O'Hearn"...more "House of Pain"
 3.  Before going on the air, meteorologists required to inhale 2 tanks of 
	Helium.
 2.  Occassionally slip words like "Buttafuoco", "Gillooly", or "Funky Fresh" 
	into the Local Forecast.
 1.  Make stuff up.

THE WEATHER CHANNEL:  "And now...your color radar, showing precipitation in 
		       your area, and it's movement over the last 90 minutes.
		       Intensity is 'inversely' indicated by the size of the 
		       black dot in the center of your screen."

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