Top Ten Rejected Slogans For The Twinkie(tm)

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10.  "All our ingredients are multisyllabic!"

9.  "We asked 100 people if they would rather eat a Twinkie(tm) or get a 
	frontal lobotomy:  more than half went for the Twinkie(tm)!"

8.  "Little.  Yellow.  Sugar.  Different."

7.  "Be young.  Live dangerously.  Support your local hospital.  
	Eat Twinkie(tm)."

6.  "Eat all you want.  We'll synthesize more!"

5.  "Twinkie(tm)s:  We make SPAM look nutritious by comparison"

4.  "Most of our colored dyes have never caused cancer in rats!"

3.  "It's not your father's Twinkie(tm)...but it could be!!  45 years later 
	and no perceptable change!"

2.  "9 out of 10 dentists recommend Twinkie(tm)s for their patients they want
	to have return!!!"

1.  "Twinkie(tm):  It has the half-life of a granite boulder!!!"

Alt.top-ten.bullwinkle!!!   -   March 25, 1994

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